Halloween has been one of those annoying topics that I usually try to avoid discussing b/c, for one: I'm irritated when I see kids dressed in devil capes, witches hats and black fishnet nylons which are barely covered by a tiny "skirt"; and two: the houses covered in toiletpaper cobwebs and blood dripping skulls with flashing orange lights... they might as well post a big sign that says "I hate myself, my house and everyone who comes near". I could do without the occassion all together! Wouldn't miss any of it. I don't doubt that my upbringing has a part to play in my negative viewing of the season either though. My parents also had enough taste to basically say, "let's not take part in this one", thus I've never been trick or treating - - until last night! I kid you not. I, the ultimate Halloween Scrooge (as one friend comically said of herself), have had a slight change of heart. Here's my article on the issue;) Sorry for the length.. it's one that just couldn't be avoided... hehehe....
Until yesterday I wanted nothing to do with the day and we had decided we wanted our kids to have nothing to do with it either. No trick or treating. Besides, with all the disgusting costumes out there I don't want Atalie or Aiden waking up screaming at night b/c they can't get the monster mask out of their face that they saw on the dark street while collecting candy so innocently. Yet as I imagined our kids growing older and attending school, I couldn't help but to think of Atalie in particular. She is MUCH different than Kevin and I were as little kids. We were withdrawn. Atalie is outgoing. We hesitated to talk to people we didn't know. Atalie is extremely sociable. I remember enjoying time to myself in my bedroom just painting or re-organizing my furniture (mega geek, I know!). Atalie plays very easily with her imagination alone but also really misses her friends on the days I don't have childcare. Kevin and I would have been described as followers before being recognized as leaders (or perhaps silent leaders). Atalie's personality seems to draw kids in and she is a natural leader in many ways. I wondered how our decision to "ban" her from halloween would really affect her. It didn't effect us much until we got to High School and started to feel excluded/left out of our circles b/c of the rules set out for us by our parents. I think our parents made a good choice. I might not understand the situation at the time b/c frankly, it's hard to remember(!) and I only had a childs view. However, I think we need to re-examine this decision aside from our own upbringing and our automatic reasonsings for choosing not to take part in Halloween.
To take a step back and take in a bit of history, I did some googling. You can use
Wikipedia as a reference for the info I found:
As you most likely already know, Halloween began as a celebration of summer's (harvest's) end. The celebration also has some elements of the "Festival of the Dead", which is held by many cultures throughout the world in honor or recognition of deceased members of the community, generally occurring after the harvest in August, September, October, or November. Ok so that's not so bad.
Everything we see and know now to be Halloween was developed over time, surrounding customs of medieval holy days as well as contemporary cultures.
For example, pumpkin carving began as a practice of "souling" (commemorating the souls of purgatory with candle lanterns carved from turnips)... however, the American tradition of carving pumpkins preceded the Great Famine period of Irish immigration and was originally associated with harvest time in general, not becoming specifically associated with Halloween until the mid-to-late 1800s.
The imagery and symbolism of Halloween is what really bothers me. I'm clearly not one to like anything horror-related to begin with, so mine is an obvious opinion already. I admit that some of the best movies out there are the suspenseful ones! I've even enjoyed the odd thriller and even found myself buying one that scared the pants off of me b/c it was so well done (the ending revealed that the source of the villain was really just your imagination). Yet, I'll never understand the need for so many Halloween symbols... death, evil, the occult, magic, mythical monsters, the devil, the Grim Reaper, ghosts, ghouls, demons, witches, goblins, vampires, werewolves, zombies, skeletons, black cats, spiders, bats, and crows. Most of which I can do without;)
But back to the subject of this topic: trick or treating. The tradition of going from door to door receiving food already existed in Britain and Ireland, in the form of souling, where children and poor people would sing and say prayers for the dead in return for cakes. Kinda creepy if you ask me. However, onward we go... we challenged ourselves with two questions: 1) How will taking part in Trick Or Treating effect Atalie? and 2) How will avoiding it all together effect Atalie?
Number one first: the biggest concern we had was the fear factor. Be careful little eyes what you see! Children are vulnerable and it's their parents responsibility to protect their innocence as much as is possible yet in a healthy manner. I'd feel terrible if she saw something that really scared her and she developed nightmares over it.
Number two next: avoiding an annual social activity like this could be difficult for Atalie - more so than it was for Kevin and I as kids. She loves her friends, loves to act, has a huge imagination and is thrilled to see and meet other kids. As she grows in her relationship with her heavenly Father I know and expect there to be times when she stands out from the crowd and feels out of place. I want her to stand her ground and to lead the way by example. And yet we don't want her to unecessarily feel excluded from her friends and we don't want to remove her from a situation simply for fear of the unknown.
We came to the conclusion that dressing up to go door to door to collect candy just isn't anywhere close to praying for the dead in exchange to fill a hungry belly. And I'm not mocking. Really, until yesterday we both thought that if you did anything Halloween related you were opening yourself up to the spiritual realm unecessarily. So I stopped to ask, "is a 6yr old dressing up as a firefighter one day per year at school really opening the door to the great unknown?" "Definately not" we decided. At least, I couldn't remember any such thing happening in school on Halloween when I was there, whether I dressed up or not. So let's take it a step further. "Is having a small junkfood party at your house on Halloween, for your 6yr old firefighter and all his friends going to open any doors to the unwanted spiritual realm?" No. Ok well, "how about being outdoors with those same friends, walking around our neighborhood to all their houses to collect the same candy?" Ok well now we're outside the secure walls of our home so maybe... no just kidding. We thought not. So what have we been so fearful of this whole time? We dressed the kids up and took them out to collect candy last night. And the funny thing?? It was a first for all four of us, age 2 to 32! Haha:)
And you know what? It was fun!! I didn't sense that Atalie and Aiden were in danger at ANY point in time, I didn't sense spirits lurking behind us as we walked up and down the sidewalk and I didn't see a single creepy costume walk by! That last one was the only shocker really... I figured people in our small redneck town would go all out with the blood and guts. But it was all quite tasteful! We stuck to the neighborhoods we knew and made sure to go up to the door with the kids (holding the furry-costumed Aiden-pup back as he always wanted to go in!). Atalie was gleaming in her princess fairy costume, repeatedly saying things like, "I LOVE TRICK OR TREATING! THIS IS FUN! IT'S MY FAVORITE! I'M GOING TO TRICK OR TREAT TO EVERY DOOR!". There was one home which had a few skulls and I regret walking up to that door, letting them get a closeup... thankfully though, Aiden didn't seem to notice and Atalie merely said, "that's a scary face. i'm brave for the scary faces!". Hm. Okay. The evening continued to be a delight... there were free hot dogs, juice and hot chocolate at the community hall afterwards, complete with a massive bonfire and a surprisingly good fireworks show! Atalie was in her element the entire evening. Aiden however, was frightened by the fireworks and exhausted by the end of the evening (missed his nap). They both had a ton of fun otherwise!!
I know that once you start a kid in a candy-surrounded tradition, you can expect to have to continue it! As for the effect of Trick Or Treating on Atalie as a young adult (high school), I hope that (as with anything else she faces) she will make wise choices in the world. I won't be able to control everywhere she goes and everyone she sees at every moment, so as a parent I hope to anticipate what I can, grounding her in truth and educating her in all other areas. How else do you prepare a child for the future? At this point, we don't see banning her from the event as being beneficial.
I don't see the world now as I did as a child. For one, I was more naive then. Mostly however, a lot has changed. Most people don't take spoken truth as truth. They don't trust that just b/c you tell them something it's going to happen. Families are breaking apart at an astounding rate. Anger (bullying) is a big issue in a lot of schools. Trust is hard to come by unless it is shown, proven and earned. So are relationships. Friendships are important to kids, especially kids who have broken homes. I see Atalie as a bright light. Perhaps she will even be a light to her fellow Trick or Treaters. Trick or Treating proved to be a safe, fun family event our first time around. And until it proves otherwise, we're likely to continue letting her go... even though her "family" might consist of a lot more friends as time goes by;)
However... these are also the days when I get to clean up the toys/house at the end of the day but without a helping hand; when I have to put on my snow suit and trudge out the door to gather my own firewood once I've burned up my indoor stash; when I don't get a break from the kids during the nightly bedtime routine; when I try to store away all my thoughts during the day, only to try recalling them all in a short phone conversation later that day when my other half calls to say hello and goodnight (not so good at remembering things!).
Yup, I'm home alone for six days -- the longest yet actually! Kevin's boss didn't have work for him during the Christmas break so Kevin is in Creston, helping out a friend instead. That means he's also officially done year three of his schooling!
This pic below is of the two of them trying to finish up our friends' parents roof the last time we were in Creston visiting.
At the end of this week I'll be packing up the kids and picking Kevin up in Cranbrook to head to Alberta for a few days. We have an ultrasound Friday morning, at which we'll find out the gender of our third munchkin!!! We're pretty excited about this weekend - it's the first time we've both been away from the kids overnight (two nights infact - we're leaving them at my parents place)! We're staying with a good friend a visiting a couple others. We'll also attempt to do a bit of shopping, see a movie and hit a gluten free restaurant. Can't wait!! We're then staying a couple days longer in lethbridge to spend Christmas with Kevin's family and help his parents out on their house renovations. We should be back home with a day or two to spare and prepare for Christmas with my family --busy busy! I really look forward to all of it though!!
